That Floating Excrement Was Far Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the television offerings of the recent year, a handful of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that left us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Plagued with dreadful scripts, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final season began, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the last season. It concluded on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Still, fans undeniably found joy picking apart every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the problems. The hilariously leaden writing? The tedious glorification of affluence and materialism? The almost wilful procession of tropes? Acting so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this series again. However, a second season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the legal troubles, abuse allegations and fatherly failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this series might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but flippant narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy figures meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which seemed a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a poster for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Rather, the experience was like reading a marketing catalogue. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it.

Too Much

How does one follow a show that defined a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely breezy, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and killing off – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for sexual exploits as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.